From the Eyes of a Women
Tanvir Bhamra
April 2024
A woman may just be on her way to work, but with each step she takes she navigates through a minefield of double standards. This woman and countless others go through similar experiences of these ridiculous expectations and treatment compared to their male counterparts, as if they’re walking on eggshells. Double standards are far from unknown, and women have protested against them repeatedly; however, many do not know that they are still present.
The gender pay gap started back around the 1800s when it was finally common for women to work; the University of Missouri states in 1840-1841, men were paid $33.81 per month while women were paid 21 dollars less.[2] This only devalues the time and effort women now put in, as it shows how they are not appreciated with the jarring contrast in wages. Unfortunately, this still continues now, multiple studies have shown that women are paid only 84% of what men are paid, and this is also dependent on their race with Black and Hispanic women getting paid less than men of the same race.[3]
While walking the streets, women find themselves being cautious to avoid the degrading experience of catcalling, where a stranger makes inappropriate or suggestive comments about their appearance. Despite it being a clear form of harassment, women are expected to tolerate such behavior and are mocked for speaking out against it. The normalization of this not only violates a woman’s dignity but also contributes to other women’s feelings of discomfort and fear.
These double standards also exist in parenting, beginning with the expectation that women should stay at home with the kids. Meanwhile, fathers pay no attention. These ideas continue to influence present-day norms for the division of domestic labor. While mothers have the majority of childcare responsibilities, fathers are praised for performing even the most basic tasks. To add on, when fathers take care of their kids, others will call it “babysitting.” This can be infuriating for both parents as the father is just carrying out his responsibilities while everyone expects the mother to go above and beyond with childcare, sometimes ridiculing her if she gets “lazy.” This only places a burden on women and hinders the importance of fatherhood.[1]
Besides the expectations of parents, double standards even affect how parents treat their children; it is often shown that fathers are way more protective and strict with their daughters, giving them early curfews, forbidding them from dating, monitoring the clothes they wear, and more. Even my father brings up the idea of me having children in the future, even though I’m not fond of kids. I notice that these comments are not directed at my brother, only mentioning that he’ll find a nice woman in the future. Fortunately, my father is not as strict with me on other matters, like curfews and diet, but he certainly treats me differently from my brother, though this is affected by age as well.
In the midst of all of this, women feel pressured to fit into unrealistic beauty standards. For instance, having a shaved body has been very normalized in women. Many times in public I’ve made sure my underarm hair wasn’t showing in fear of dirty looks and judgment, a concern not present in the minds of men. Additionally, women face criticism and harsh comments for exhibiting characteristics considered to be “manly” such as having body hair or a smaller chest. A study from the National Library of Medicine says, “The results indicate that men devalue non-ideal bodies and upvalue ideal bodies when they are self-related, whereas women rate in a fair-minded manner. Thus, in contrast to women, an advantage for men may be that they can self-enhance in the case of desirable bodies.”[4] In simpler terms, this talks about how men tend to devalue bodies that don’t match their ideal standards to boost their confidence; on the other hand, women judge bodies overall regardless of whether they match; possibly because of the many beauty standards pushed onto them.
Noticing these situations in my day-to-day life has proven that these double standards have never disappeared and have been integrated into our culture and minds such that many don’t notice. In fact, women now hold men to high standards of being their partners, some more reasonable than others such as simply treating them with respect since it’s not shown as often. Either way, we need an environment where all individuals, regardless of gender, can thrive and flourish, and release ourselves from double standards.
References
[1] Ciletti, N. (2024, April 3). Gendered Double Standards In Parenting: Five Strategies To Help Promote Fairness. BetterHelp. Retrieved April 29, 2024, from https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/parenting/gendered-double-standards-in-parenting-5-strategies-to-help-promote-fairness/
[2] 1840-1849 – Prices and Wages by Decade. (2024, April 4). Library Guides. Retrieved April 12, 2024, from https://libraryguides.missouri.edu/pricesandwages/1840-1849
[3] George, E., & Livingston, G. (2024, March 12). What You Need to Know About the Gender Wage Gap. DOL Blog. Retrieved April 7, 2024, from https://blog.dol.gov/2024/03/12/what-you-need-to-know-about-the-gender-wage-gap
[4] Giving a Body a Different Face—How Men and Women Evaluate Their Own Body vs. That of Others. (2022, May 2). NCBI. Retrieved April 7, 2024, from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9108869/
