Inside the Dangerous Recesses of the “Perfect Victim” Trope
Lisa Samy
August 2024
Perfect victims don’t exist. However, society parrots the idea that women who experience sexual assault must adhere to a certain moral purity to be acknowledged for their trauma.[2] This is called the “Perfect Victim” trope.[2]
According to Dr. Jason B. Whiting, the perfect victim is someone who is “weak and vulnerable and involved in a respectable activity at the time of victimization.[2]” In all aspects, they are able to gain “the most sympathy and support from society.”[2]
Here is a story to put it into perspective. There is a woman named Melissa. She’s young, cisgender, supposedly heterosexual, and white. When she is sexually assaulted, she is not drunk, wearing revealing clothing, or flaunting her sexuality. She is believed and heralded as a tragic, sympathetic figure, both by the public and police force alike.
What happens to women who don’t fit the mold of Melissa’s narrative? People see their stories through a doubtful lens. Repeat phrases like “there’s two sides to every story” or “gray area,” serving to bolster the narrative of the perpetrator.[2] Continue to question, doubt, and ultimately, siphon away any empathy they have for them.[3]
Those Who Don’t Fit The Physical Picture
Author and social activist Bri Lee notes that along with women of color, it’s often “women for whom English was a second language, who have either intellectual or physical disabilities, very young women and very old women” who are victims of sexual assault.[1]
The numbers don’t lie either. A recent Trades Congress Report highlighted that 54% of black women reported sexual harassment at work, compared to 34% of white women.[4] The Aged Royal Commission reports that up to 50% of sexual crimes happen in nursing homes on a weekly basis.[1] Women with intellectual disabilities are 50-90% more likely to be the targets of sexual assault.[1]
It’s not that cisgender white women’s voices don’t deserve to be heard; however, their stories are prioritized at the expense of those belonging to other marginalized groups. When have black women—historically stereotyped as unfeminine, aggressive, and hypersexual—ever been commonly believed? Would a senior citizen living in a retirement home have a higher chance of the authorities taking her report seriously, or them writing her off as a demented dotard? Obviously the second option, because society has placed the validity and worth of victims on a scale determined by their extrinsic identities.
If your story isn’t clear, isn’t convenient, it’s less likely to matter.
Those Who Don’t Fit the Personality Picture
No imperfect victim is the same. Some are hot-headed, unlikeable, and while grappling with their trauma, inadvertently push others away, their relationships (platonic or romantic) ending as collateral damage.[5] Others are anxious, self-deprecating, and drown their words in apology-habitual behavior, thereby dissolving their credibility to others. But to be perfect, victims must not show their trauma in such ugly ways.[5] They need to control their fears, and if they wish to share their stories, they must do it for the sake of other victims.
Emily Withnall, domestic abuse survivor and writer, says “I do not meet societal criteria for being a perfect victim. I am a lesbian, for one. I’m also hard headed, prone to argument, and write freely about personal topics that make people uncomfortable. But I refuse to contain the stories of my abuse.”[5]
When these personalities are shamed, victims become susceptible to self-doubt. . Destructive thoughts such as “I brought this upon myself” and “I didn’t tell him, who would believe me?” take a front seat in driving their lives.[5] Thus directing them down the decaying road filled with other traumatized women whose personalities are “unpleasant.” There, they are abandoned, their stories left in the refuse and rubble.
Those We Need to Include
All victims deserve a seat at the table. Integrity should not be based on skin color, sexuality, gender, class, or perceived personality. If a woman fights back against her attacker, she’s not intrinsically an abuser too. If a woman was drunk at the time of the sexual assault, she did not bring it upon herself. If a woman wore a revealing outfit, she didn’t want her assault to happen.
Let’s slow down, wait and listen. When we do, the intricacies of the stories will form on their own, without the “Perfect Victim” trope to write them for us.
References
[1] Cocoran, Lucy. (2022). The Idea of the ‘Perfect Victim’ Is Hindering The Sexual Assault Movement, And It Needs To End. Elle. https://www.elle.com.au/culture/politics/perfect-victim-sexual-assault-dangers-26952/
[2] Dorn, Isabel. (2023). The myth of the perfect victim. The Lawrentian. https://www.lawrentian.com/archives/1023060
[3] Glory, Oviasuyi. (2023). Addressing the Myth of the Perfect Victim. Document Women. https://documentwomen.com/addressing-the-myth-of-the-perfect-victim
[4] Machray, Kim. (2023). The Perfect Victim Myth. Empoword Journalism. https://www.empowordjournalism.com/all-articles/the-perfect-victim-myth/
[5] Withnall, Emily. (2024). The Myth of the Perfect Victim. The Plentitudes. https://www.theplentitudes.com/piece/The-Myth-of-the-Perfect-Victim
